Posts tagged vacation

Not a turn-friendly zone

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What does San Francisco have against left turns? It seems like every street we’d cross while we were there prohibited left-hand turns. I understand the ones that are one-way streets, and I appreciate the sign helping me not get killed by an oncoming bus. But what about all of the other streets? What’s their excuse? It’s like this city just has something against ambi-turners. You’d think that a city that’s so accepting of people swinging both ways would be more tolerant of those of us who like to turn both ways.

Skinvincible

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When Spider-man got his cosmic powers, Magneto came to check him out in case he was a mutant. That’s when I learned that some mutants don’t show their powers when they’re born, but develop them later in life. I assumed that’s the way it was with my super power.
I’m a fair-skinned guy, and it’s not surprising that I’m sensitive to the sun, and I’d been burnt pretty good when I was a kid. About a year ago, though, I spent a week with my brother in Las Vegas during the summer. It’s different going to Vegas with my brother, because we didn’t do any of the touristy things. We just hung out by the pool all day every day, and then went to the casinos at night. Even though I laid by the pool without any sunscreen for about four hours every day, I didn’t get burned or tanned or anything. It was as if the sun had no effect on me whatsoever. I was skinvincible.
I don’t know how long I’ve had this power, but that was the first time I’d seen it in effect, but now I can’t remember being really sunburned since high school when we’d go boating. This week, however, I discovered that my power wasn’t a mutant evolution after all, but from a different source.
On Monday I spent a large chunk of the day outside in the sun at the Braves game. The newly-exposed skin on my head got burned bad. Maybe the worst burn that I’ve ever had in my life. Yesterday it blistered up. Last night the blisters burst. This morning my head is swollen all around the burn on one side. I look like I had some birth defect that makes my head lop-sided.
Now some might say that my skinvincibility was just a joke or my imagination, or that I simply don’t get enough sun to test it since I’m just a indoor-dwelling computer guy. I insist that my powers were real, and it’s obvious to me what has happened. I simply lost my power when I shaved my head. Every super-hero has a weakness. I guess the haircut was mine.

Pledge of Allegiance

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There’s never been much competition between Coke and Pepsi for me. Dr. Pepper gives it a run for its money, but can never completely over-take it. You know how sometimes you go in to a restaurant and order a Coke, and the lady says, “Is Pepsi ok?” and you’re like, “No,” and hope that they have Dr. Pepper? Yeah, I’m sure everyone knows that feeling.
We went to the Coca-Cola museum in Atlanta. Really, the museum is a collection of every Coke advertisement that has ever been created, and there are bits of history sprinkled throughout, mostly just to explain the changes in the propaganda. By the time we got through the second room I’d already been completely convinced that Coca-Cola was the best product ever invented. As I became further indoctrinated by the rest of the museum, I started to make plans to show my newly increased loyalty to Coca-Cola. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to drink the once-beloved Dr. Pepper again. I’d use Coke on my breakfast cereal. Eventually I’d phase out water, too (even though that could lead to the painful state where my urine would be carbonated).
There is a tasting room at the end of the self-guided tour of the museum. They have almost every variety of drink that Coke makes, all available to try for free. My first cup of Coca-Cola Classic was oral heaven. I’m sure that it tasted only as good as every other Coke I’ve ever had, but I doubt it had ever been received with such an emotional attachment. I moved on through all of the varieties of diets and caffeine-frees, and then on the other Coke drinks, like Barq’s and Sprite. By this fifth marginal cup of soda, I’d lost the initial satisfaction, but there were other drinks to try: Tab, Pibb, Poweraide, Minute Maid, and every other aid you could think of were there to be tested. I couldn’t let the opportunity pass by, so I tried them all. By the time I was finished, I’d begun to feel disgusted towards soda and I didn’t want any more for quite a while. Then I saw the international room.
A whole second tasting room, this one with varieties of drinks that were available in other countries, totaling more than the varieties of the first room. I felt obligated, pushed on my ingrained love of the Coca-Cola company, and so I tried all of these, too. I’d already had more soda than I could still be enjoying, but it didn’t help matters that Coca-Cola has an obvious dislike of foreign countries. I mean, why else would they force such horrible flavors on them? They must have run out of fruit-based flavors, because they had Fanta flavored like seeds and nuts and what must have been some kind of tree bark. The Italian brand (I think it was called “Beverly”) was so bitter that I had to use the lychee nuts to wash the flavor out of my mouth.
When we left the museum I felt so sick to my stomach that I didn’t think I could ever drink anything ever again. After a few hours I realized I was wrong and I saw that I needed a Coke, but I drank water for the rest of the day, so I’d say that after all was said and done, the propaganda overload and its back-fire cancelled each other out, and I don’t think that any permanent damage was done. Only time will tell if the tide was changed in the battle between Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper. Maybe next time that a restaurant serves Pepsi I’ll just leave and go eat somewhere else.

Coke Loyalty

Chinese Buffet

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There’s this restaurant in Lakewood (CO) called the Great Wall. It’s a buffet with Chinese, Mongolian, and Japanese food. It’s sick (and I don’t mean that the way that the snowboarders say it). They have all kinds of exotic foods like crawfish and sushi and frog legs. I think food that exotic can’t possibly be good if it’s offered at all-you-can-eat quantities.
For some reason my dad and his wife think this place is great, so they go there every time there’s a reason to go out. We went there for Father’s Day. I pretended that I didn’t mind even though I got sick the last time that we went there. I just ate the beef on-a-stick and the rolls. That was safe enough. I did put a crawdad in the urinal, though.
On a side note, Troy’s fortune read, “Genius is nothing but an aptitude for patience.” I think that makes him mildly retarded.

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So I went road trippin’ with my favorite allies (except for the #1, who’s busy road trippin’ with my replacement) this weekend, and so I tried Vegas from the tourist perspective this time: It’s a lot more tiring. I’m still worn out.
By far the coolest attraction (or at least the best, even if cool isn’t quite the word to describe it) was the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton. Not only is there the most comprehensive timeline ever to show the events of the 25th century, and two great interactive rides (are they really rides, though?) including a replica of the Enterprise bridge that was so realistic that I almost had a heart-attack, and the best Star Trek gift show this side of StarLand (how many not-only’s am I allowed?), but the best part was that they actually brought in aliens from the 25th century and we got to talk to them at Quark’s bar. I got threatened by a Klingon ’cause he thought my red shirt meant I was a ranking officer, and I bought some Betazoid prostitutes from the Ferrengi that ran the bar, and we talked to some Borgs. Now, I know what you’re thinking: You can’t talk to Borgs (that is what you were thinking, right?). Well, we talked to 3 of 6, who explained to us that he was among the Borgs that had been severed from the collective and had regained his sense of individuality (There was another Borg who had only recently been separated from the collective and hadn’t yet learned to interact with humans, so he just stared at you like you’d expect from a Borg).
I’m sure you’re wondering, so I’ll tell you how a conversation goes with a Borg: First, we just wanted to know where the bathroom was, and we thought we wouldn’t be able to communicate with the Borg to ask him, but he explained that he’d been separated from the collective, and he told us where the bathroom was, and wished us “Success on your urination.” Later, he came by our table and inquired as to how my urination went. Everyone started laughing, so 3 of 6 asked if they laughed because it doesn’t usually go well, and I said, “Well, sometimes I get a little stage fright,” which apparently even Borgs understand: “Acknowledged,” the Borg said (sympathetically). He then went on to tell us that he was scanning the area for <insert techno-babble here>, which we didn’t understand, but we all acknowledged.
Just when you thought that I was over Star Trek, I get assimilated; I’ve been watching it on Sci-Fi every afternoon since I’ve been back home.

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Spring break is over. I think Vegas is my new favorite city. I learned how to play blackjack and roulette, spent a <insert favorite swear word>load of money, got kicked out of my hotel, and got the best shoe polish known to man. I’m also proud to say that I spent all weekend there without doing anything to get kicked out of the Church. Now I’m going to stay up all night and try to catch up on the work that I’ve blown off for the last two weeks.

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Colorado was a success. I played Halo, got a haircut, and ate french toast. I don’t know what else you could ask for. Today was a good day academically, too. I discovered the Physics help lab, so I actually was able to figure out my homework today, and I raised my GPA via the Spanish credit test. I was kind of worried about it, but I finished it in 15 minutes and only missed one problem, so I guess I didn’t really need to be worried. Either that or I had some divine assistance. AND, I’m still on spring break, so I’m not shaving.
Old Comments

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I finished the Wonder Arch website yesterday. My clients seemed pleased with it but they were reluctant to say that they were, but either way, I got paid and I’m happy with how it turned out. I’m making my own spring break now, and since its not official I’m going to make it last two weeks. I’m going to go skiing tonight and tomorrow and I’m going to Denver this weekend and to Vegas the next. So there. Take that, anti-spring-break-ites.

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