Posts tagged vegas

Skinvincible

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When Spider-man got his cosmic powers, Magneto came to check him out in case he was a mutant. That’s when I learned that some mutants don’t show their powers when they’re born, but develop them later in life. I assumed that’s the way it was with my super power.
I’m a fair-skinned guy, and it’s not surprising that I’m sensitive to the sun, and I’d been burnt pretty good when I was a kid. About a year ago, though, I spent a week with my brother in Las Vegas during the summer. It’s different going to Vegas with my brother, because we didn’t do any of the touristy things. We just hung out by the pool all day every day, and then went to the casinos at night. Even though I laid by the pool without any sunscreen for about four hours every day, I didn’t get burned or tanned or anything. It was as if the sun had no effect on me whatsoever. I was skinvincible.
I don’t know how long I’ve had this power, but that was the first time I’d seen it in effect, but now I can’t remember being really sunburned since high school when we’d go boating. This week, however, I discovered that my power wasn’t a mutant evolution after all, but from a different source.
On Monday I spent a large chunk of the day outside in the sun at the Braves game. The newly-exposed skin on my head got burned bad. Maybe the worst burn that I’ve ever had in my life. Yesterday it blistered up. Last night the blisters burst. This morning my head is swollen all around the burn on one side. I look like I had some birth defect that makes my head lop-sided.
Now some might say that my skinvincibility was just a joke or my imagination, or that I simply don’t get enough sun to test it since I’m just a indoor-dwelling computer guy. I insist that my powers were real, and it’s obvious to me what has happened. I simply lost my power when I shaved my head. Every super-hero has a weakness. I guess the haircut was mine.

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So I went road trippin’ with my favorite allies (except for the #1, who’s busy road trippin’ with my replacement) this weekend, and so I tried Vegas from the tourist perspective this time: It’s a lot more tiring. I’m still worn out.
By far the coolest attraction (or at least the best, even if cool isn’t quite the word to describe it) was the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton. Not only is there the most comprehensive timeline ever to show the events of the 25th century, and two great interactive rides (are they really rides, though?) including a replica of the Enterprise bridge that was so realistic that I almost had a heart-attack, and the best Star Trek gift show this side of StarLand (how many not-only’s am I allowed?), but the best part was that they actually brought in aliens from the 25th century and we got to talk to them at Quark’s bar. I got threatened by a Klingon ’cause he thought my red shirt meant I was a ranking officer, and I bought some Betazoid prostitutes from the Ferrengi that ran the bar, and we talked to some Borgs. Now, I know what you’re thinking: You can’t talk to Borgs (that is what you were thinking, right?). Well, we talked to 3 of 6, who explained to us that he was among the Borgs that had been severed from the collective and had regained his sense of individuality (There was another Borg who had only recently been separated from the collective and hadn’t yet learned to interact with humans, so he just stared at you like you’d expect from a Borg).
I’m sure you’re wondering, so I’ll tell you how a conversation goes with a Borg: First, we just wanted to know where the bathroom was, and we thought we wouldn’t be able to communicate with the Borg to ask him, but he explained that he’d been separated from the collective, and he told us where the bathroom was, and wished us “Success on your urination.” Later, he came by our table and inquired as to how my urination went. Everyone started laughing, so 3 of 6 asked if they laughed because it doesn’t usually go well, and I said, “Well, sometimes I get a little stage fright,” which apparently even Borgs understand: “Acknowledged,” the Borg said (sympathetically). He then went on to tell us that he was scanning the area for <insert techno-babble here>, which we didn’t understand, but we all acknowledged.
Just when you thought that I was over Star Trek, I get assimilated; I’ve been watching it on Sci-Fi every afternoon since I’ve been back home.

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Spring break is over. I think Vegas is my new favorite city. I learned how to play blackjack and roulette, spent a <insert favorite swear word>load of money, got kicked out of my hotel, and got the best shoe polish known to man. I’m also proud to say that I spent all weekend there without doing anything to get kicked out of the Church. Now I’m going to stay up all night and try to catch up on the work that I’ve blown off for the last two weeks.

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I finished the Wonder Arch website yesterday. My clients seemed pleased with it but they were reluctant to say that they were, but either way, I got paid and I’m happy with how it turned out. I’m making my own spring break now, and since its not official I’m going to make it last two weeks. I’m going to go skiing tonight and tomorrow and I’m going to Denver this weekend and to Vegas the next. So there. Take that, anti-spring-break-ites.

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